Okay okay. I know I'm not really SUPPOSED to be posting here since I said I was done with this for a while....but I lied. And so here I am, a beautiful, little child once again!
*snort* Yup! That's not true! I'm not , and as for the whole beautiful thing, don't even go there. I have serious self-image issues. But I love my issues, even if they are demons here to destroy the very foundation that my soul is built upon.
Well well well, I'm finally getting around to writing PROPERLY! That's right folks, yours truly is going to attempt the unthinkable. I'm going to try and finish a story. But NOT ONLY A STORY! Oh no. A book.
I'll post periodic excerpts from it here. If you like what you read, be sure to let me know. I can never get enough praise. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But now, I must leave you. I know parting is hard, but oh well.
I haven't posted here in a long time. Due to tests and other such things, my tBlog will be taking a backseat for a while. Okay then. That's all I had to say. Yay!
I had to clean my bedroom last night. Which wouldn't have been so bad if my parents had just gotten off my case while I was cleaning. But they didn't. They kept saying stupid things like, "I'm sorry everyone in this house has to help out." Aparently they thought that I was mad because I had to clean. On the contrary, I was mad because they were giving me h e ll over such a little tiny thing.
It sucked. Yes it did. But now I'm over that and can go eat breakfast or whatever it is I plan to do this lovely Saturday morning.
Ah yes! I shall wake up my little sister, just to see the look on her face. Then I'll eat breakfast and further the development of one of my newest characters who is still in the designing phase. And then I'm going to the Posie Patch, a craft festival that opens up randomly at a highschool every once in a while. Ta-ta tBloggers!
It's wierd. Unlike usual, I don't feel like I have anything particularly deep to say. Even though I know I'll find something, it just doesn't seem like there's much to say.
But I do have to say that I being in a world where people have SO much potential, but they don't get the support that potential needs to grow and multiply. There are people with such talent starving, while the people with the money to afford said support get all the glory.
In case you haven't noticed, this is just one of those aimless rants that people use to let off steam once in a while. Today is my day. Today is the day that I get to rag on the world for a short moment. A moment when nobody stops me because everyone is entitled to their day. Today is my day.
Maybe I'll make tomorrow my day too. Maybe I'll make every day my day and start to live a little. That's what I'll do. I'm following my dreams, even if it means launching myself out into a world that I don't know. Even if it means getting laughed at and knocked down when there's no one there to pick you up. There'll be someone there to pick me up, I know. But I have to wonder who.
Who'll be there to catch me if I fall? Will I just land and bleed or will someone save me? I guess the guess-and-test theory is the only thing that'll work for me right now. But I know I can do it. I know I can. And the people I love know I can too.
Wow. That got REALLY sidetracked! Anyway, I guess my rants on the world are over, for now. But there's more good ones coming soon, let me tell you! Well, I'm off to bed now, but I'll bore the crap out of you tomorrow, tBlog peoples.
Long ago there was a world, Where everything seemed so free, So undesirable, When you could have all of the candy you wanted, What was the need for a sweet tooth?
But when the heart sets itself, On the one thing you desire Most but cannot have, It is then that raw, Undefined passion begins to tear, Through your veins, Burning in its search for something to, Cool the flames.
You can see it but you, Cannot touch it, Thus your desire begins seething, Growing and seeping into, Every numb fiber of you body.
You know what you want, But do not have the thing you need, To gain it, There is no greater than, Having something important to you, Just out of the reach of your, Outstretched hand.
Yet the world revolves, Driven by the mad passion and, Unfiltered desires that latch onto, The hearts of the unsuspecting, Population.
The way the soul writhes, And screams in pain that, Hurts so badly yet, Dulls the pain at the same time.
How can someone be sure, Where their heart lies when they, Do not know even the Smallest part of themselves?
Yesh! I finally am going to put up a webcomic! How far it'll get, couldn't tell ya. But I know that now that I have the first couple of pages done, there won't be much stopping me anytime soon. Except for school 'cause that always comes first. Always.
Well I am, right now, at an odd point in my life to say the least. For one thing, my family has a HUGE communication problem, that is betwenn the kids and the adults. And furthermore, my whole family is in denial about the whole situation. I know it's true but again they refuse ot listen to me.
To back that up, I'm kinda screwing up my school schedule because I'm lazy and forgetful. I sometimes forget I have homework and I know that can't keep happening. Or else I'm uber-screwed.
And I've got SO many "extra-curricular activities' flying up my butt right now that it makes it REALLY hard to remember I'm doing anything else! I have guitar lessons and choir on Teusdays, on Wednesdays and Thursdays (or on W.days and F.days or Thrs.days and F.days) I have tennis. And every other weekend I'm at my dad's.
Wow. I have only Mondays to myself. Now I shall sit and contemplate this whilst listening to Gollum's Song from the Two Towers. Yay.
Man o man! I had to post this link! I know I know, it's kinda....childish, but it's SO amazingly sexy that I just couldn't help myself. I hope that you will throughly enjoy this picture since it made me so VERY happy!!
Finally the weekend (fin de semana) arrives! I can't help but be excited. And then I hate it. Because I got to see him today. I got to watch him walking, the sunlight in reflecting off of the innocence shining in his eyes. Oh man.
I can't believe I get so carried away. It's just a crush, it'll pass. That's what I keep telling myself, but myself doesn't believe me.
School is wierd and tiring and strange. We're reading "The Birds" in Language Arts. It's a short story by Daphne de Maurier, and I believe the popular Alfred Hitchcock movie is based upon that story. It's very peculiar but strangely, almost dementedley even, enthralling.
Spanish is great. Being able to speak in another language and being exposed to all of the different culture and the upbeat music is almost like being able to get away. To get away from the chronic exhaustion. To get away from the dreams that start to meld with reality. So much so that sometimes I start to lose myself.
Actually, I don't think that since the first day of school there's been a day when I wasn't tired. A day when I didn't stay up late purely out of not being able to sleep. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's more. Who knows?
Anyway. I'm off to read some H/D slash. I love it. I admit it. And I also love someONE, but I'm not sure I'm ready to call it love just yet. For now, I'll just say that I've fallen in LIKE with a very close friend.... :wink:
He felt something soft brush against his cheek. Yet somehow, he could not open his eyes. He just lay there in the majesty of it, remembering the days when the sun used to shine. The days when happiness had not seemed so far away. Once more something brushed against his face, this time on both of his eyelids. Just as he was about to fade into the embracing oblivion of sleep, he opened his eyes. The beating of wings echoed in a phantom flurry, intoxicating his senses. [i]Obsession.[/i]
You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't mind being alone at times. You have goals, and know what you want in life... even if they are a little far fetched.
Today was...an unusual day to say the least. First off, my cousin, who's been sick, comes to school while she's still sick. Not so wierd? Well her mother hardly ever lets her out of bed when she's sick, so I couldn't believe she let her come to school. Secondly, I ate lunch and was full. It's a school lunch folks and I was full! And queasy....blech! And then, well, and then in Language we read a really dark but cool story called "On the Sidewalk Bleeding". It was pretty cool. And I have nothing else to say at the moment, so I'm filling you in on the boring events of my day. I'll go write a story now, so that I'll have something to post later.
I guess it's the truth then. I guess I'll never be one of those smart, pretty, successful, admired s. I guess my dreams really are just that. Dreams.
I guess my goals are just wishes. Wishes in a world where magic is . I guess I was fooling myself, thinking that I could aspire to fame, and fortune. I guess I'm just a nobody, without a fate, a hope, a wish. Without a temple, a pulse, a soul.
But, then what am I? Just a faint ghost of dreams that haunt reality? Just a cursed desire slipping through one mind after another? Just a figment from someone's lonely imagination, lost and forgotten, against the bonds of friendship?
Who am I? What am I? Why am I? Why strive for goals that will never be? Right now is just solitary. And I am alone. Alone with myself in the dark.
This is so incredulously lame. I have nothing at all to do, and nothing to talk about, so here I am, rambling incessantly, trying to listen to my heart beat.
There is a pulse. One deep, echoing sound. A thread of life that grows and shrinks, bruning away at your soul with every breath you take.
I once heard a myth that each person had a flame living inside of them. It makes sense, if you think about it. I mean, we have to breath to feed the flame. It works in a distorted king of way.
The way it burns so, taunting those who don't quite have a grasp on it, burning painfully those who try to hold it too close. You must live for today, for tomorrowi t may rain, and then the flame will go out.
So live for now....because never is endless and tomorrow doesn't really exist....
I got up at 6:30 this morning to go on a hike. Needless to say I thought it was worth it. I mean, there are some beautiful photography spots up there. And there were supposedly coyotes running around in the fields at the base of the mountain.
I love coyotes. They're so regal and neat. I think we should all be more like the coyotes. They're beautiful creatures, but even they compete for social standing, if only amongst their own pack. Maybe the whole world is like that.
It's not impossible....but I hope with all of my heart that that isn't the case. What happened to all the decency that people used to have? All of the characteristics we used to cherish? In this generation, heroes are less constant and villians are beginning to overtake the population. We 're in need of heroes now....but who will be a hero?
I'm working on a webcomic that should have the first couple of pages up next weeked. It'll be great fun, everybody, so checkit tou once it's up. There'll be a special post here, I'm sure. So...yeah.
Anyway, check ya'all later. Peace out mah homie-g dawgs. (Lol. Just kidding.)
I had choir practice today and I didn't like it very much. I almost fell asleep several times because I was so bored. But it was alright.
Yesterday night after the football game there was a dance. And it was okay, truth be told. The only thing was, most of the dancing was freak-dancing (which would'nt have been that bad if there had been any guys doing it). That's right, folks. For a while me and my friends thought we were stuck in a lesbo convention. It was so freaking wierd!
And I got to see the VK's who I hadn't seen for a bit. (And who almost died because they didn't say hello to me just because I'm short and below normanl human vision level.) And we talked. I wanted to dance but I didn't for...reasons that shall remain unsaid at the moment. Mostly it was because I didn't want to hurt a person who shall reamin un-named's feelings.
It was really cool though, and I had like two sodas so I was a little hyper. And then I got bored.
We got into the car while we were leaving and my aunt say's, "Anybody up for McDonalds?" So we went and they gave all their leftover stuff for free...yay! It was so fun, though. (And Mr.C-A is gay, lol.)
I just tried out to sing the National Anthem at a professional basketball game. I did really good. Hopefully I make it!
And nowI'm off to the varsity football game (which we'll lose) so that I can see Kev once more. He finally said hi to me, which was good. Anyway, I have to get going....ttyl tBloggers!
Well, whaddya know. Turns out my buddy really did tell Mr. C-A about Mr. C-A! I would never've thought that Lbs would've told him for real...and yet he did. That's wierd.
Anywho, I'm still having a few troubles talking with my mom, and now nearly everything we say to each other turns into a mini-argument, or a full fledged, swords drawn, blood bath between two disagreeing sides.
I hate it, and yet at the same time it's kind of like..a drug. That's how arguments are. I like the adrenaline rush and all, but in the end I feel all the worse about talking this way to this person or saying that thing to that person.
Man o man is my mind twisted! Anyway, I'll be back later so ta-ta for now, tBlog people!
[i]And as the sun goes down I cry myself to sleep.[/i] There's always something isn't there? [i]I watch the bugs crawling across my skin, now that you are gone, I can let things crumble.[/i] Of course there always is. There's always just one more thing that people want to change, one more thing that you can't do. [i]I know it seems that this was meant to be, but now that you are gone, all I do is stumble. [/i] There's so much that I can't do, but what can I do? If nobody has faith in me, who can I turn to? Is there someone out there who I can ask for help? The world fades and sundown at noon sets in. I just want somebody to hold me.
Ach! I know I know, anoyher one of those stupid little quiz things. but this one was SO cute! And goodness gracious I'm being all oerky. You see what puppies DO to people!? STAY AWAY FROM THE GLOMPABLE FUZZINESS!! :!:
You are a outside puppy with others and you like it that way. You like the feel of the outdoors and cannot be couped up in a small place...you like your alone time but get along with others and enjoy others
Well, today didn't go quite as I had planned. I DID, however get to see my big crush.
Y'know, he's been on my mind a lot lately, and is almost the only thing I can think about that doesn't either me off or make me sad.
I'm so tired right now for two reasons. One, it was a LONG day, three, I have massive damage control to do. Heh. See there? I even wrote three instead of two.
But back to my long day. One of my friends told my crush what my nickname for him was and why. It's gonna be hell-o when I see him at the football game on Wednesday.
And I can't write "real" curse words because I choose not to, and my computer won't load them. It's stuck on a child safety thingy and I haven't figured out how to remove those yet.
Today was an interesting day. I woke up at like, six in the morning, and then I sat on the couch for a while. I just sat, there, doing nothing. And I fell asleep.
I drifted in and out of sleep for a while, so much so that my dreams began to meld with reality. Which is a wierd thing to say since a lot of the dreams I had were peculiar and too odd to be real.
It was nice in a way, though. I was in a different place, and I was free as a bird to go where I pleased. And then my dogs came and licked my face to wake me up for good.
In other news, I saw Pirates of the Carribean once again today. This makes two total times. I know it's semi-pathetic, but eh. My cousin's seen that movie nine freaking times now. She's so wierd.
Anyway, I shall be logging off for now. Good night tBlog!
Okay okay. I know I'm not really SUPPOSED to be posting here since I said I was done with this for a while....but I lied. And so here I am, a beautiful, little child once again!
